Disadvantages of waking up early

Numerous sources will tell you that waking up early is good for you. Your parents, neighbours, better performing cousins, a barrage of online and print articles pleading with you, selling you the alleged benefits. Your brain is fresher in the mornings, you read better, breath fresh air, work out, get chores done and so on, they chime. The early risers eventually become the wisers.

However, there are some drawbacks no one tells you about. First of all, how hard it is going to be wake up early if you have not been blessed with the genetic condition of a ‘morning person’. These are people suffering from ‘sunrise bed claustrophobia’. I would say to them, go to a doctor, but as it turns out, these people have taken it in their stride and turned this into some kind of an acceptable practice in the modern society.

“You can do it too, they tell you, if you manage to have the courage and grit”, which only sounds mildly preferable over a voluntary check in to a aversion therapy toward to make you hate puppies.  In the initial days, you might feel nauseousness or breathless like you have been taken off the ventilator, but if you survive that, you discover what a joy of waking up to a tepid sun feels like. Your problems start, however as soon as you wake up and realise that you have a good couple of hours before you need to leave the house. You have no choice but to sit sipping tea, and think what to eat for breakfast, pack lunch and what to wear, etc. With plenty of time at your disposal, and a buzzing morning fresh brain, these are difficult questions.

Over time I have mastered the art of getting dressed and leaving the house in less than twenty minutes from waking up (and that includes having a bath). The beauty of this lifestyle is that one simply not have the time to mull the inconsequential. The exercise is simply not efficient. On the contrary, if one argues that you can read or perform chores at this time early in the morning, in my defence, I have tried all that. Reading for me cannot proceed without my brain rejecting it like a investigational drug in its pre-clinical trial stages. Despite being a glutton, I somehow never feel hungry early in the mornings. I have tried doing laundry at half past seven in the morning thinking it would be done in an hour, so I could pop them into the dryer before catching the 8:41 bus. At 8:32, however, the machine has decided it would be nice to take three extra minutes of scrubbing. Pleading with the lifeless is not more rewarding than the living. Override command does not work, because you handed over sovereignty the moment you put the clothes in. I therefore have no choice but to endure the tense three minute wait (I could cut the tension between me and the machine with a blade) and eventually gallop to the bus stop.


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